After i looked at all the money I had earned and saved up i got this huge heartache, I felt freer than ever like i could  go anywhere and get a whatever job and i could probably live from that and then make whatever from my life, the only thing that could hold me back would be my desire and motivation, my will. And it felt huge, almost overwhellming after a lifetime of gettting my decitions made for me and just going with the flow, something i never felt before. And it makes me like sad and happyy at the same time, knowing that I have that option but also knowing that I’m probably just going  to keep on doing the easy stuff and just keep going with the flow.